An excerpt from my old Valedictorian speech :D

I opened my old high school journal and out popped my old valedictorian speech. It's been years since I saw these words. I realize I need to find my old determined self once again. I was so competitive and probably overly ambitious. That side of my personality waned a bit over the years but I realized I need to get it back.


#lifeontrack

"I stood still for a moment wishing I could get one more year in high school. However, I knew I could not and truth be told I did not want to because I experienced all my school had to offer. I have no regrets because I did everything I could and I succeeded to the best of my ability. Lastly, I have no fear in taking the next step, turning the next page, and taking the next jump. The risk is worth it and I hope we all take it. Fellow classmates, let us all look to the future with determination to fearlessly conquer our dreams."

Families are Forever

Rest in Peace cousin Carlito :'( Love yea, I wish I had met you!. Times like this we should keep our head up high and stay strong!! Grandma's taking this the hardest, she thanks you for all that you have done!!!!! Death leaves a heartache no one can heal while love leaves a memory no one can ever steal. Families are FOREVER♥ FLY WITH THE ANGELS, COUSIN!
"For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one;he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help"
Psalm 22:24

 ♥ REST IN PEACE UNCLE CARLITO ♥ WE LOVE YOU Love Always,MAKAYLA && MALIKAI! -we never knew you but heard alot of good thing about you. Our heart aches for your wife && kids. But now you have no pain && you are not suffering no more now you can REST IN PEACE! KAT && UNCLE BOY Stay STRONG && COME back home to us SAFELY!!! FAMILIES ARE FOREVER && ALWAYS ♥

Rest In Love CARLITO, I love you cuz! UNKO BOY AND KATZ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, stay strong! To the rest of MY FAMILY IN THE PHILIPPINES LOVE YOU ALL,be strong for each other! :) *families are forever*!

 -

A close family member died today. Just taking a moment to memorialize the love we have for family.

May Memories..listless and nostalgic

I should be finishing this paper but I am not feeling the inspiration at the moment. Maybe writing random shit will help me get through my writing funk. It is now May! We are now almost halfway through 2012! How freaky is that?! May is also Graduation season. My Facebook feed is full of undergrad friends talking about their last class, their last paper, senior parties, and graduation day.

Is it weird that I will be 3 years out of school as of June and yet I am still very cognizant of what it felt when I got out of my last class and finished my last final? A "bitter sweet moment" is an understatement. It was an unyielding and overwhelming sadness! I could not wrap my head around the fact that I will soon close a part of my life that was so integral to my personal and professional growth. I still have all the thank you notes from my Club Flipino family tucked away in a box so they won't fade. I still have all my Georgetown t-shirts (accumulated over 4 years) of different colors and from different clubs and events I was involved in. I still plan to make it into a quilt..eventually. However, I have yet to find time to learn about basic sewing to make happen. :(

3 years have passed by and yet I find myself reliving memories at random. Most of my facebook albums from 4 years of undergrad life is set to private and only I can see them. I felt it was inappropriate to leave them up since the people who friend me nowadays are co-workers. It wouldn't be very professional if there was a picture of me hanging over a toilet being seen around work. :) So most of the albums are closed and there are some moments when I flip through them and I still laugh at the distant memory of what was. It is a nice pick me up moment that gives me a bit of happiness during the most dullest or frustrating moments of my life.

I guess I shouldn't really be blogging about this since I'm still in single digit years after graduating. However, nostalgia hits me hard sometimes and I felt I could put those feelings on paper just for fun. It's always nice to reminisce...but it gives us encouragement to continue living and make new memories, new pictures, and new albums. Eventually those albums will close and we'll look at the memory in fondness and appreciate our life even more.

What perfect time than now?

Last night, I stayed up late looking into the dark wondering where I was going with my life. I resigned from my corporate cushy job 2 months ago with the intention of going back to school and returning home to help my mom. However, I feel listless more than ever. In fact, I feel more resigned because I have nothing planned out, with the exception of school.

Where am I going? What am I doing?

My mind spews out things I should do, things I can do, activities that would challenge me, and projects I could start. Within the convoluted priority list in my head, one thing kept popping up in my head - stop planning and simply do.  

What perfect time than now? 

I have no family to take care of, no dependents to feed, no large bills clouding my head, no 8-5 job holding me back.

Maybe I'll start on a memoir? Because I have complete fate in myself to know I'll be someone important in the future.

Maybe I'll dabble in a bit of fiction writing? Because I always wanted to test my own creativity and see how far it would go.

Maybe I'll take a class on acting? Because I want to know if I can cry on the spot without being sad.

Maybe I'll take bartending classes? Because I have a secret wish to act out scenes from Cayote Ugly one day.

I don't think of this as a bucket list because a bucket list implies you have all the time in the world to get things done. No, this will be my "Shit to do Now list" because nothing potentially great should wait.