Monday, March 11, 2013

The Big Comfy Couch

The struggles of a young woman is a secret to the world. These past couple of months have been a torrent of emotions, frustrations, happiness, and restlessness. My life, thus far -> trees cracking against the cold winter winds, government shut down from an unknown storm, a fiscal cliff of uncertainty, and panic over an overflow of deadlines. 

2013 started with new beginnings, new feelings, anticipation, and excitement. On the third month, it has ebbed into the possibility that it could either get better or worse. Then again, therein lies the excitement because an unknown world is always an exciting one with dips and rises of what may become a roller coaster or a smooth drive along sunset boulevard watching the waves from down below.

I guess we can only take it one step at a time and inch our way forward. Could it be a year of risk taking? I have been known to play with caution and dip my toe in the water instead of cannon balling into unknown depths. Perhaps, I should take a different approach? A friend once said "better to give things a shot than die wondering."

Being a risk taker is always difficult because you leave yourself vulnerable to the unknown. You leave yourself open to life and you also expose yourself to its derision. It's scary and yet I'm on the edge looking down and it looks damn scary.

I told myself 2013 is a time to get out of my comfort zone...and I did that, in more ways than one. There are days where I crave the comfort zone, like a drug addict craves his next hit. However, nowadays I'm on my own and I only have the comfort of those close to me to encourage me onward.  I guess that is considered growing and maturing against the times. I take it on wholeheartedly but not without a sense of foreboding.

My friend calls the "comfort zone" as the big comfy couch. You miss it, you want to forget yourself in it, and you want to just forget the world when you're laying on top of it. In the process you also forget about yourself and you forget that the big comfy couch only serves to slow you down and forget your priorities.

In the end, life can come in the form of a thing, a person, a situation. It can give, take away, and provide. However, at the end of the day you are alone in dealing with it. Your decision will determine how to go forward. Your will power is what will drive it. It takes work. It takes effort. It takes risk.

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