Sunday, June 9, 2013

Reflecting on Father's Day

It's been a while since I put pen to paper...or rather fingers to keyboard. I figured today would be a good time to get some words out considering the weekend has made more contemplative than usual.

Tomorrow is Father's Day but dad isn't around for me to wish him well. I usually don't talk much about him because I like to keep his words and memory safe from the prying and critical eyes of the world. However, my emotions have overflowed this morning and I feel the need to share them with the world in a few words.

I woke up this morning with a sense of listlessness, sadness, and distraction. My mind was elsewhere while my body did the usual morning routines. I remember his memory, his words, his resolute approach to life, loyalty, and his immense love for family. On my way out the door, my tears flowed freely down my face. I wanted a chance to sit down and cry but I did not want to wallow. After all, the day did not deserve tears or sadness just happiness and fond memories. I wanted a chance to sit down and remember but my mind was racing to fulfill the next thing on my list of things to do. I wanted a chance to hug someone and let out my frustrations and unload my sadness of the day but no one was around to give me a shoulder. 

In the five minutes that I waited while the bus came, I reflected. Am I living my life according to the principles he taught me? Am I living my life with dignity and respect? Am I working hard and not taking things for granted? Questions and memories overflowed and I was overwhelmed.

This was a sad morning. No one was around to see it and I didn't want anyone to see it.

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